That Story - [part 1]

I don't know why I have to keep this for so long...found these 2 years ago...
The write up were wrote back then in the year 2008...guest this is before and the new challenge begin.

*****

Today I realized how amazing the human mind is, how it has the capacity to think on many levels interchanging emotional reasoning and being able to feel so many different thing done to different stimuli and thought processes.

Today I saw in people faces interesting emotions when confronted with emotional news that could affect their lives or livelihood. I also felt what it was like to be on the receiving end of emotional news. I also realized that to lie is acceptable for my done of another person. 

[Wow! What was that, what does he mean by his words…surprised to read this first page?]

Today I didn’t feel hate for another.

Today I didn’t feel anger.

Today I didn’t feel afraid.

Today I felt concern.

Today I felt sadness.

Today I felt like so many other people in this world must feel, but probably not as much as some.

Today I felt a challenge a new beginning and end.

I have always wanted to write and now I have much to write about.

I have always wanted time to remember now I will make that time.

I have always wanted to keep fit by going to the gym but always failed to keep to many plan.

Now I feel I can do that.

Today I saw every minute more clearly and wanted it to count for something.

I lied to Merry today because I felt that she would over do her concern for me and thus making it more difficult for me to copy with my problem on my terms and the way I need.

I have thought that I have seen in love many times in my life but only recently felt that maybe they were all trial runs as I had met Rain.

I love Rain but couldn’t tell him yet that I am unwell. I need to know the extent of my illness and where it will lead me. That should be tomorrow!!

Oh how life can change in such a short while, head many times before, and treated as acceptable occurrence. Now that it has happened to me I have to live by my past interpretation.

Today my life change and I will deal with it.

I can’t tell my parents not yet anyway. They are old and suffering themselves so no need to burden them further. Will I depart this world before them? That question is a real possibility right now, not knowing anymore.

Thought about Disy and what I need to do there. So much love she has for everyone and so much passion for the family, what she has built I sort to run from my family. Disy may still get to pull the plug for me, our little pact.

Need to change my ‘will’ now.

And now I realize the value of following up health insurance. I may need to sell up to save my life.

Today I would like to be 30 again, knowing all I know now and being able to live a long and happy life with Rain.

Gosh! Why did I just feel like I had written that before like so many times before…why does this happen. Is it that my brain is working ahead of my thoughts!??

I have had so many amazing and wonderful things happen in my life while at the same time having many devastating things, manipulating my life through my mind.

Wouldn’t change a thing as it makes me me.

Why is it that in the past month or so many people has been here to KL to sees me. Danny, Disy, Merry, and then meeting Rain. Is it because I need to learn to appreciate people more.

My mind is racing as it has been all day.

Time to give up this and that time to concentrate on this and that. Time to make bad right.

How will people feel!!

How am I going to feel!

How will I behave!

I am up for another challenge.

Maybe what people say that your health is the most important thing in life is true.

I need to try sleep, actually I feel quite alone.

Let’s see what tomorrow bring.

*****

So just end there…what happen ‘tomorrow’ only he knows.

But the story will continue. 

Next episode will start at the end year 2009.

;-)